Number three

Lives can be taken so fast. I was informed that a friend and fellow youth that I used to take home from church almost every Wednesday was killed in a car accident. She was a sweetheart, a youth that I was hoping I could be a good influence for. When I was a youth at University Baptist Church, we had about 15-20 students. Out of those, three have passed away in the past two years. One from an accidental gun shot at a party, one from a weak immune system from leukemia, and one from a car crash (she was present when the one at the party died). It is so hard to fathom what God's intentions are. Why would he take a life so young? Obviously, in His plan there is a reason, but in my totally human mind...I get so frustrated.

In my frustration, most of it stems from knowing how little time we have here. Part of me screams inside begging to God that these young people knew Him...and that I was someone who could have helped or hurt their belief in God.

I guess my big issue is that I was the female youth leader of all three kids that have passed away. Could I have done a better job? Did anything I said help them see the glory of our Majesty? Did my example open their eyes to accept our wonderful Savior? I don't know any of these things for sure, God does. But I want to know...I want to know full well that these students are up celebrating the new life with our Creator.

When we see the God of the Old Testament full of anger and revenge on His people, it's hard to believe that Jesus came from that same creator...gentle, humble, loving, accepting, forgiving. I know God is all of these things, but contrasting that to the wrath he put upon the Nations of Israel, he doesn't seem to be the same God....or atleast until something like this happens. God gives AND He takes away. I just wish I could grasp why.