Awakening

I have come to a realization. It has opened my eyes and has made me come to what I would like to call a personal awakening.

It all started in our chapel service on Wednesday. At ETBU, we are required to go to chapel, a 50 minute worship time on Mondays and Wednesdays. As we were singing, I was jolted by a sudden rush of emotion and passion. I was finally singing to a God that was touching me as I sang. I'm not saying that I have never sung to Him...but it has been a while since I have felt this strong sense of love, passion, and submission. As I sang, I realized that I have been far from Him. Yes, I have been leading bible studies and being active in the church...but my personal walk has sucked. My prayer life and time in the Word has suffered for the past year and a half. At this point, after feeling very down and depressed for the past weeks, I have repented to the God that I have selfishly neglected.

This brings me to tonight. If you have known me for more than three years, you would know that I have been an incredibly optimistic and bubbly person. However, the past year and a half I have been quite the opposite. I have been negative, easily depressed, and very closed off. Tonight as I was talking to one of Tim's friends, Andy, and I realized the reason for my lack of optimism and feelings of sadness have been to the lack of relationship I have mentioned previously. From my freshman year in high school to my freshman year in college it was rare that I missed a day in the Word and in prayer. Since coming to ETBU, I have been very inconsistent and my prayer life has been horrible. From realizing this, as mentioned previously, I know that I can be repaired. I have done this to myself and let Satan warp my optimism of life and Christ's joy in my heart. This is my awakening...things are about to change.

In other news, my parents are coming in town tomorrow and I am excited to see them! I am sad that I won't be making the trip to my Granny and Papa's, I miss my family very much. Granny and Papa, if you read this, I love y'all very much and I am sad that we won't be able to come in. We have a wedding tomorrow and we will be spending Easter here.

I will get my cd of wedding pictures tomorrow when my parents come in. I have not recieved my album yet after 9 months...so they are compensating by giving me the cd of pictures before I get my album...so I am excited. Perhaps I will share a few photos here!

Happy Easter!