BAH

**UPDATE**
You guys must be some great prayer warriors. I went to practice today and had an amazing time. I really enjoyed what I was doing and the people I was with. I witnessed my team pulling together for one of our girls who is going through a hard time...it was just good. I am excited about our success and that we will be going to playoffs...I am excited that I have had this opportunity and I really credit that to your prayers. God really worked in me today and I was able to take off the body of frustration and put on one of gratefulness and excitement. This is a good experience...I just got caught up on myself and threw myself a pity party. Thank you for your prayers!
*end update*

I am going to be honest...the past month has been awful! I have been so overwhelmed and frustrated and I hate it. Soccer is a chore these days...I get frustrated because I feel like this is what I was supposed to do but it hasn't gone at all as I had planned. It's been difficult to build relationships and enjoy my time. It is even more frustrating that I can't play the game I love. I mean it's awesome that we clenched a playoff spot with out dramatic win in double overtime with 7 seconds left...but this is just all so different than I anticipated. I find myself frustrated to tears most days when I am done with soccer stuff. I really want to know what God's purpose was with this...I could have had so much more free time. Also, I am SO out of shape and that's depressing. Seeing that I am a goalie, we don't really run much AND I don't play...so I am ridiculously out of shape. I was planning on being in shape because I was going to be on the team...but alas, I have felt worse than I have since my junior year of high school when I quit soccer and gained some weight. Pray for me...firstly that God will give me patience to get as much out of the next two weeks as I can, and second, that I can see what the purpose of this was.

Tim has been wonderful through all of this. He listens to me and does awesome things to help ease my tension. There are so many days that I come home to a clean house or supper ready or some kind of surprise. He planned a surprise date for us on Friday and it was amazing. He is so good to me. He has kept saying the past two weeks that he has really learned to appreciate me and show me that he appreciates me. I haven't felt so loved ever! He is one amazing man...I am so blessed...sometimes I still don't believe that I married such a wonderful guy...

I've been really convicted about my time that I have neglected with God. I have been so inconsistent this year with my prayer life and just digging in the word. I am changing this...I need His guiding comfort.